Lessons That Became Real

I was just talking with a small group of friends about same sex attraction and transgender, mostly in preteens and teenagers. One of my friends teaches 5th and 6th graders at the middle school. She was saying that the school is beginning to have a small problem with girls wearing a pride flag and not respecting teachers who ask them to take it off. I should clarify that these girls are asked to take it off not because of it being a pride flag but because students aren't allowed to carry around and/or wear blankets and anything similar to it. My friend, who I'll call Anne, said that this group of 6 -7 girls are girls who would be considered misfits or who really don't fit in with any other group. They weren't friends before until one girl got them together and told them all about how they could make their own group- a pride group. They try to hold hands whenever they can (students aren't suppose to hold hands as a general school rule). Anne was talking to these girls one day after school and asked them why they formed this group and why they were doing what they were. One of the girls said, "because I wanted to feel included and excepted into a group." 

Now, children feeling let out and wanting to be excepted is nothing new, though it still makes me very sad. But what is new is this idea that if you don't fit into a group then you must be in the LGBTQ group. In that group you will be accepted and loved and celebrated, which every child and teenager wants to feel. 

This story reminded me of Daryl Bem's theory, Exotic Becomes Erotic, that we talked about in my class. This idea is that "biological factors like hormones, genetic makeup, and brain anatomy don’t influence our sexual preferences but rather determine our temperament. And temperament, in turn, influences the activities and playmates children prefer." I think this can also go back to how children need to feel connected and have a sense of belonging, that I talked about last week. If a child feels like joining this LGBTQ group so they can feel like they belong somewhere and that they getting this connection with peers, then they will. It's not that they don't think they are actually gay or lesbian or transgender, but they do feel accepted, which I know how important that is for every human to feel, especially children and teenagers. No one wants to be the odd one left out. 

I have so many thoughts running through my head about all of this that I wish I had a pensive like Dumbledore so I could take out some of them. I think my biggest thing I'm thinking and feeling is sadness and this huge wanting to help these children who are confused, sad, and alone. 

My other friend shared that girls who are exposed to porn and see these hyper sexual women think, "that's not me", or see violent porn and knows she doesn't want that, thinks that the only solution is to be a boy instead so she doesn't have to deal with that. My heart broke hearing this. 

Now, this post probably sounds very anti LGBTQ but I'm not. I have a few family members who are gay or transgender.  I believe that I should love them and I do love them. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ I believe that families should be headed by a man and a woman who are married. My beef is with children, these vulnerable sweet children, who are being bombarded with these confusing adult issues that are causing real emotional, mental, and sometimes physical harm. My heart aches for the children of the world and the problems they are dealing with. I want to wrap them all up in my arms and hug them and take away to a world far far away from all of this…what can I do to help? What can you do to make a change? What can we do together? 

                                                                            ♡♡♡ -Allison