The Importance of a Father

    This week, we first discussed cultures. When you hear the word “culture” what comes to mind? Maybe a certain group of people or food…or the thing growing on your food at the back of the fridge? How about the arts, customs, and language of an ancient people? Those are all correct answers, but there is more to it. It also includes the behaviors and attitudes of a certain social group. In the United States there are roughly 5 main social classes- 1) upper 2) upper-middle 3) middle 4) working and 5) lower. 

     

    We had to watch a video about this woman named Tammy and her children. I highly recommend watching it.

     
    If you don’t watch it, here’s a summary of it. Tammy is a mid 40-year-old who has at least three children. There is no husband or father in the home. They live in a run-down trailer, and she works at a Burger King, making minimum wage. She must walk 10.5 miles to get to work since she doesn’t have the resources to fix her car. It is assumed that she doesn’t have an education higher than High School if that. Their family would be classified as “lower class”. One of her sons, named Matt, is very embarrassed by his mother and their situation. He thinks he is better than her and works hard at school so he can be in a better situation than her when he grows up. We find out 14 years later that Tammy is still working at Burger King for minimum wage. She did move into a house that is closer to work, but it is small and rundown. Matt ended up getting his girlfriend pregnant, which resulted in him dropping out of HS six months before graduating. His mom said that if he wanted to be a “real man” he would stop school and get a job to support his girlfriend and child. In the end, despite all his hopes and desires to get out of the social class he was in, he didn’t. The cycled continued. It was extremely sad, and I just wanted to give Tammy a big hug and help her somehow. I admire her. She was an extremely hard worker and someone who didn’t give up on her dreams. 

     

    As a class we talked about how the absence of having a husband or significant other in the home had on Tammy and her family. The video didn’t say anything about a husband or father to her children, so we don’t know what happened there-we just know there is no father figure in the home. We talked about this for a while and what problems came from it and how Tammy and her children’s life would be different if he was still there. This hit home with me since my parents divorced when I was almost 11, leaving my mom to raise us (5 children) on her own. And this is what I want to focus the rest of my post on, the effects of father absence in the home. This really boils down what I took away from both class periods this week. A family can't function to its full potential when the father (or mother) is not present. Having both parents in the home helps keep the balance and provide stability that every member of a family needs. From my own first hand experience I can say that it does matter significantly to have a father in the home. I experienced a few of the negative effects of what happens when a father is absent and then watched my siblings experience the same and other negative effects. My heart aches for my siblings and what they have gone through as a result of our father not being active in our lives. Yes, they had freedom to make their choices but those choices were greatly impacted by the fact they didn't have a role model at home. 

     

    The Father Absence Initiative is a fantastic organization that helps inform the public on the importance of fathers being present in the home and supporting fathers through various programs. Every father should take a look at their website, especially fathers who grew-up without a father in their home. 

    This organization says there is a father absence crisis in America and I believe that. I find it so sad that our country isn't doing more to change that- to help fathers who are in need of help, whether by providing resources to get a better job, get an education, parenting classes, therapy-individual and marriage, and just a place where they are given hope. I think a lot of our nation's problems go back to not having a good home life. Just from the image above we can see some of the negative effects of not having a father in the home. All of these effects just create a vicious cycle that is so hard to get out of. But with programs like the 24/7 Dad, they are giving hope and a way out of this cycle. 

    If you want to find a Father Source program center to here's the link to find one near you  https://www.fatherhood.org/fathersource-locator

    Below are just pictures of facts that the National Fatherhood Initiative has made. I think it is more enjoyable and memorable for you to read this picture facts than me listing them. I hope that this post has helped you learn about the importance of having a father active in the home. Please share this post with anyone you think could benefit from the information I have shared. There is hope for dads who are caught in this vicious cycle and want to get out and be there for their children. Not every father is going to be able to live in the home with their children, but that doesn't mean the dad can't be active in their lives. A child needs their father in their life. PLEASE post a comment because I want to hear what your thoughts are and your experiences. 

                                                                    ♡♡♡ -Allison






















 








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