Same-Sex Attraction

 

    Hello Readers! Did that picture get you intrigued? I sure was confused when I saw it while doing some research. This is a top from London's Fashion Week this year. Apparently, there were lots of outfits that were feminine for the male models. I linked the post it this article at the bottom of this post. I feel like it goes perfectly with this week's topic. On Tuesday, we first talked about if there is a difference between men and women, besides the obvious, and what those differences are in their characteristics and behaviors. Now, all of these are from typical men and women. There is always the exception, and of course, the idea of Nature vs Nurture plays a part. I want to briefly list this differences because I think it will help transition into what I really want to focus on in this post. 

            Typical Female                                                                                                                  

• Nurturing                                                                 
• Cooperative in play 
• Better at communicating
• Sensitive to emotional states
• Emotionally expressive
• Aware of multiple things at once
• Relationship orientated  
• Attention to detail
• Better at fine motor skills when younger
• Matures 2 years sooner than boys

           Typical Male

• Active
• Combative
• Competitive 
• Better gross motor skills
• Spatial orientation
• Laser focus
• Aggressive
• More grey matter

    We know that girls are more likely to play with dolls and dress-up and boys like cars and can turn anything into a gun, but what happens when that's not typical for a boy or a girl? What if a boy is more sensitive and crafty? Or a girl wants to play football or work on cars? For the girls, they would probably be called a "tomboy", which isn't meant to be offensive. On the other hand for boys, if they act more feminine then they will usually be called gay or queer or something else that is more offensive. Now this leads me to what I really want to talk about- same sex attraction. 

    As we all know, LGBTQ has become a hot topic in almost everything we encounter now. I wanted to get more information or views on what people thought about this topic-why are people attracted to the same sex. I ended up doing a poll on Facebook asking why people think there are people who are gay. There were a few responses that seemed the most common:

1. They are born that way- biological
2. God made them that way or it's their trial they are given
3. Trauma or other negative experiences that happened in their life growing up
4. They chose to be gay
5. Social pressures or that's what we have to do now in our culture
6. I have no idea

    It was so interesting talking with people about what they thought. People really didn't know what to say, especially if I pressed them further or ask them why they thought that. Most of them said they haven't thought about it much and just said something they have heard someone else say. I think there is so much confusion about the topic in the world today.

    My professor introduced us to another theory by Daryl Bem, from Cornell University, the "Exotic Becomes Erotic", that sheds light on another possible reason why there are people attracted to the same-sex. "Bem believes that biological factors like hormones, genetic makeup, and brain anatomy don't influence our sexual preferences directly but rather determine our temperament. And temperament, in turn, influences the activities and playmates children prefer."

 Boys who are aggressive and like rough sports (gender conforming) and girls who have gentle dispositions like playing dolls (gender conforming), feel different from each other. The same goes for those girls who are rough playing tomboys (non-gender conforming) feel different from girls who instead, like to play dress-up. Bem's theory states that children who don't feel like their same-sex peers makes them perceive them as "exotic", which then produces physiological arousal like faster heart rate and increased blood pressure. This then later transforms into sexual attraction. This is just a model and not fact. This doesn't have to happen to a person who is non-gender conforming. That person, if given the opportunity, can still be attracted to the opposite sex. Just because they act and do things that aren't typical of their sex doesn't automatically mean or make them gay or lesbian. Yes, they might more likely end up gay or lesbian, especially since we live in an ever growing world and culture that is prompting this idea. I feel like in this world today if you act a certain way, that defines your sexual orientation. This is very true with men. If a boy/man dresses a little nicer, is more crafty, not as rough, and high energy - acts more feminine- then they get label as gay. That is not always the case. We need to stop this. It is confusing the young people of this generation. 

    I'd love to hear your thoughts or questions, even if those thoughts are opposing. Please comment below!

Exotic Becomes Erotic Theory

This is a summary of the theory and it explains the diagram above:

A - B. Biological variables such as genes or prenatal hor­ mones do not code for sexual orientation per se but for child­ hood temperaments, such as aggression or activity level.

B - C. A child's temperaments predispose him or her to enjoy some activities more than others. One child will enjoy rough-and-tumble play and competitive team sports ( male-typ­ ical activities); another will prefer to socialize quietly or play jacks or hopscotch (female-typical activities). Children will also prefer to play with peers who share their activity preferences; for example, the child who enjoys baseball or football will selec­ tively seek out boys as playmates. Children who prefer sex-typi­ cal activities and same-sex playmates are referred to as gender conforming; children who prefer sex-atypical activities and op­ posite-sex playmates are referred to as gender nonconforming.

C - D. Gender-conforming children will feel different from q,posite-sex peers, perceiving them as dissimilar, unfamiliar, and exotic. Similarly, gender-nonconforming children will feel different-even alienated-from same-sex peers, perceiving them as dissimilar, unfamiliar, and exotic.

D - E. These feelings of dissimilarity and unfamiliarity pro­ duce heightened autonomic arousal. For the male-typical child, it may be felt as antipathy or contempt in the presence of girls ("girls are yucky"); for the female-typical child, it may be felt as timidity or apprehension in the presence of boys. A particularly clear example is provided by the "sissy" boy who is taunted by male peers for his gender nonconformity and, as a result, is likely to experience the strong autonomic arousal of fear and anger in their presence. Although girls are punished less than boys for gender nonconformity, a "tomboy" girl who is ostra­ cized by her female peers may feel similar, affectively toned arousal in their presence. The theory claims, however, that every child, conforming or nonconforming, experiences heightened, nonspecific autonomic arousal in the presence of peers from whom he or she feels different. In this modal case, the arousal will not necessarily be affectively toned or consciously felt.

E .... F. Regardless of the specific source or affective tone of the childhood autonomic arousal, it is transformed in later years into erotic/romantic attraction.

Resources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/199612/the-exotic-becomes-the-erotic

https://dbem.org/APA%20Address.pdf

https://www.bbc.com/culture/article/20130624-will-men-wear-skirts-and-lace

A --~ B. Biological variables such as genes or prenatal hormones

do not code for sexual orientation per se but for childhood

temperaments, such as aggression or activity level.

B --* C. A child's temperaments predispose him or her to

enjoy some activities more than others. One child will enjoy

rough-and-tumble play and competitive team sports (male-typical

activities); another will prefer to socialize quietly or play

jacks or hopscotch (female-typical activities). Children will also

prefer to play with peers who share their activity preferences;

for example, the child who enjoys baseball or football will selectively

seek out boys as playmates. Children who prefer sex-typical

activities and same-sex playmates are referred to as gender

conforming; children who prefer sex-atypical activities and opposite-

sex playmates are referred to as gender nonconforming.

C --* D. Gender-conforming children will feel different from

opposite-sex peers, perceiving them as dissimilar, unfamiliar,

and exotic. Similarly, gender-nonconforming children will feel

different---even alienated--from same-sex peers, perceiving

them as dissimilar, unfamiliar, and exotic.

D --* E. These feelings of dissimilarity and unfamiliarity produce

heightened autonomic arousal. For the male-typical child,A --~ B. Biological variables such as genes or prenatal hormones

do not code for sexual orientation per se but for childhood

temperaments, such as aggression or activity level.

B --* C. A child's temperaments predispose him or her to

enjoy some activities more than others. One child will enjoy

rough-and-tumble play and competitive team sports (male-typical

activities); another will prefer to socialize quietly or play

jacks or hopscotch (female-typical activities). Children will also

prefer to play with peers who share their activity preferences;

for example, the child who enjoys baseball or football will selectively

seek out boys as playmates. Children who prefer sex-typical

activities and same-sex playmates are referred to as gender

conforming; children who prefer sex-atypical activities and opposite-

sex playmates are referred to as gender nonconforming.

C --* D. Gender-conforming children will feel different from

opposite-sex peers, perceiving them as dissimilar, unfamiliar,

and exotic. Similarly, gender-nonconforming children will feel

different---even alienated--from same-sex peers, perceiving

them as dissimilar, unfamiliar, and exotic.

D --* E. These feelings of dissimilarity and unfamiliarity produce

heightened autonomic arousal. For the male-typical child,

A

Biological Variables

(e.g., genes, prenatal hormones)

II

Childhood Temperaments

(e.g., aggression, activity level)

I1

H

C

Sex-Typlcal/Atyplcal

Activity & Playmate Preferences

(Gender Conformity/Nonconformity)

D Feeling Different from

Opposite/Same-Sex Peers

(dissimilar, unfamiliar, exotic)

bl

NOnSl~ciflc

Autonomic Arousal to

Opposite/Same-Sex Peers

Erotic/Romantic Attraction to

Opponite/seme-sex Persons

(Sexual Orientation)

Figure 1. The temporal sequence of events leading to sexual orientation

for most men and women in a gender-polarizing culture.

it may be felt as antipathy or contempt in the presence of girls

("girls are yucky"); for the female-typical child, it may be felt as

timidity or apprehension in the presence of boys. A particularly

clear example is provided by the "sissy" boy who is taunted by

male peers for his gender nonconformity and, as a result, is

likely to experience the strong autonomic arousal of fear and

anger in their presence. Although girls are punished less than

boys for gender nonconformity, a "tomboy" girl who is ostracized

by her female peers may feel similar, atfectively toned

arousal in their presence. The theory claims, however, that every

child, conforming or nonconforming, experiences heightened,

nonspecific autonomic arousal in the presence of peers from

whom he or she feels different. In this modal case, the arousal

will not necessarily be affectively toned or consciously felt.

E -* F. Regardless ofthe specific source or atfective tone of

the childhood autonomic arousal, it is transformed in later

years into erotic/romantic attraction.