RAM: A Model to Follow for a Healthy Relationship

    Hello Everyone! In class this week we started off talking about dating vs hanging out. I could do a whole other post on that. But to sum it up, more and more it is becoming our culture for young single adults to want to hang out instead of going on an actual date. Now, when I saw date, I mean the 3 "P's"-planned, paid, and paired off.   
 I asked a couple of my single college friends what their experience has been with dating. One girl said that lots of guys just want to watch a movie or doing something with his friends-anything that doesn't allow them to be by themselves. It was interesting to hear that lots of the girls in my class confirmed that's what happens with them as well. The guys piped up to defend themselves by saying they didn't want to be rejected or feel uncomfortable. I get that. No one wants to be rejected or be put in a situation that makes them feel uncomfortable or awkward. I think that's just part of dating though. We have to take those little risks to be able to really get to know someone. I'm definitely not saying that it's all the guys fault that we have this "hanging out" culture now. I think girls don't want to feel uncomfortable or awkward as well. There is more caution in committing to someone. Some people think that to go on a date with someone means that they are exclusive now. That is intimidating! I wouldn't want to go on dates if that's what it meant. My professor said that when he was in college and before he got married, he dated 32 women. You should have seen the looks that he got. I think there were lots of people who had one word going through their head- PLAYER. I'm positive my professor knew what the class was thinking so he explained that those dates didn't mean he was kissing all those girls. He took them on dates and only kissed 3 of them, one of them being his future wife. When I saw that I'm dating someone that means it's more exclusive. There is NOTHING wrong with going on lots of dates with lots of different people. Now, if you start kissing all those people whenever you go on a date that's a different story. 

This leads me to what I'm really excited to talk to you guys about. There is no risk-free model to follow to make sure that you will have a happy, healthy, successful marriage or relationship. That's just not possible. But following the R.A.M. will definitely set you on the right track in building a lasting relationship. This model is gold. I made a video of me drawing and describing it in hopes that it will help you understand it more than just reading about it. I hope it does! This is my first video so don't judge.




Take Aways
  1. Going on a date does NOT mean you are committed or exclusive. 
  2. A date is a way to get to know someone to see if you want to get to know them more or not.
  3. Physical intimacy should be kept LOW in a relationship.
  4. A date means 1) Paired off (double date is okay) 2) Paid (the guy pays for the girl if they need together something) 3) Planned (there is a plan of when and where the date will start and when it will end). 
  5. Go on a variety of dates so you can see each other in different settings.
  6. Be brave on go on actual dates. It's okay to feel awkward and uncomfortable on first dates.
Please share this with anyone who is looking to be in a relationship. If you go to the link below👇and read the comments you'll see that lots of people agree with Van Epp about this model after failing in so many bad relationships. 

                                                                            ♡♡♡ -Allison

*Here is the link to a quick description of the R.A.M. model
** Remember to check out my classmates's blogs to see other content related to this topic. I'm sure someone wrote about cohabitation. Definitely read it because it's really insightful. Hint: science has proven over and over again that cohabitation basically ruins a relationship. 

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